Evan is 4 Months!

Once again I am really late with this post. E is now 4 1/2 months old! Life is just a constant stream of "to-do's". Here we go...

Dear E,

I didn't think it was possible, but each day you are even cuter than the last! I love your cheeks and all the rolls that you have developed. It's awesome. Month 4 was way cool. You actually had a belly laugh! It was so adorable. The best sound ever. You were congested this month and I had to clean your little nose with the big green monster of a bulb sucker and you thought it was hilarious! You also busted up laughing when I sat you on my belly and did crunches. You smile so much it makes my heart fly. You give these big open mouth grins that show off your gums, it's awesome!

You are growing so fast. You have grown out of a lot of your clothes. You wear 6-9 month clothes now. It's definitely closer to the 9 month because some of the 6 month onsies can't even button anymore. Mama went crazy in BRU and bought a bunch of clothes for winter but it's still 85 degrees....Oh well, we need another trip to BRU! You definitely had a big growth spurt this month. For a couple of days you were really cranky and fighting sleep one day then sleeping a lot the next day. At the sitter's, you went from drinking 3 bottles of 4 ounces each to 2-3 bottles of nearly 7 ounces each!! Along with that you love to eat your hands.

The sitter told me love to watch Sesame Street. When I stayed home to hang out with you one day, we watched Sesame Street and The Cat in the Hat and you LOVED it. You just stared, mesmerized by all the colors and funny characters.

We got a doorway jumper and it's fun to watch you figure out how to bounce around. You like to hang out in it while Mama folds clothes or gets ready in the morning. You also love to hang out with Dad and watch football. You actually watch tv, it's amazing.

You are getting really strong. You have to be in a good mood to do tummy time but when you do it you do pushups like crazy and you hold your head up high so you can see everything.

Check out these 4 month pics. You are so wiggly now that it's hard to snap a focused one!

Your hands are going wild here.

Staring right at me! Cute! Your hair is getting so light.

Trying to sit up, working out those abs.

Yahoo UofA! You can't fit in that onesie anymore...

Getting ready to take a bath and Dad snapped a photo.

I love hanging out with my favorite baby boy. The best part of every day is getting to be with you. I love when we dance, sing, read, play and snuggle. Month 4 was so much fun. I can see you soaking up everything you observe. I am so lucky to be your Mama.

Love,

Mama

Yikes

Oh dear. I feel sooo out of balance. I feel like I am approaching my breaking point...working and being and mama and wife is wiping me out. I am so stressed and tired that it's affecting my milk supply and I am NOT happy. My poor guy has to be supplemented and I really do not want that. I only get 5ish hours of sleep at night because I have stay up late with chores and preparations for the next day then I have to wake up before everyone ( 4:30) so I can get ready for work and still have time to feed Evan before zooming off to work. I knew this would be hard and I know I am just writing this post to complain. I just didn't know how angry and sad I would feel that I can't direct my full attention to running a household. I NEVER thought this would be me. I always thought I would be very career minded but it has fallen to the least of my priorities and....I'm fine with that.

I wish that I could have a healthy dinner ready for my dear husband when he gets home from work but instead we eat out of boxes. I wish I could clip coupons and shop the sales to save our family money but instead I run through the store throwing what we need into the cart without price comparing because I just want to use the extra time to be with the baby I hardly get to see...I want to bake my family holiday treats and decorate the house and make the house cozy. I I want to exercise so I can have a good energy level to keep up with my baby when he becomes mobile. I want....I want.....

I suppose everybody wishes something was different about their life. I believe that life is what you make it. You choose to allow certain things to be in your life or not, you choose the things you do or don't do. I need to step up and take control of my life and make it what I want it to be. I do not want to look back regret how I spent my time.

Thanks for listening blog.

Evan is 3 Months!

Ok so I am really late with this post....but I don't want to skip it even though he will be 4 months shortly.

Evan,

You are 3 months and I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone by. You were 3 months on your first holiday, Halloween. We dressed you up like a little cow and you were adorable!

We took you around to all the neighbors and they oood and ahhd over you. No candy for you this year though. This month you really liked to play in your jumparoo and splash in the tub. You smile at everyone and it melts my heart every time.

Your great Grandpa and your great Aunt Tammy from STL came to visit you for the first time. We went to the zoo and mama wasn't thinking and didn't bring a camera.... you really enjoyed hanging out in the moby wrap and watching all the animals and trees. We also went to a nature reserve where you did a bit of hiking. You really like to be outside and moving.

You have been drooling A LOT lately and I saw you discover your hands which are now your favorite toy. You love to chew on your hands and I have to keep a bib on you so you don't soak your clothes in drool. When you found out you had hands you brought them together in front of you and just stared at them for a while then began to eat them. You are growing out of your clothes faster than I can buy them! You officially wear 6-9 month clothes! Your hair is getting lighter and your eyes are changing from blue to brown. Check out your 3 month pics, you are wearing your fancy new clothes from great Aunt Tammy.

I have had so much with you. You are awake more during the day so we can play and go on outings where you get to see more and experience more. Sleeping through the night has really been nice for everyone and sometimes when Dad goes in to get you in the morning, you are just smiling and cooing away. Month 3 has been so exciting with all your growth and development. Your smiles and laughs are the best things in life. I love when we play before your bath each night. We read books, lay on your tummies, look at our reflections in the mirror and sing songs and dance. It's certainly my MOST favorite part of each day.

Love,

Mama

Catch Up

My goodness it's been too long since I have posted. I am really late on Evan's 3 month post (he's coming up on 4 months already!). This is just a quick catch up on the going-on in the last few weeks.

I went back to work on November 1st and I HATE it. Not the work or the people but the being away from my baby aspect. I am still having a difficult time with it. Each morning I kiss his little face and walk out with tears in my eyes. All day I think about him and scroll the pics on my phone. It makes it really hard to concentrate at work and I find myself not caring.....I just wanna be with my son. I never could have imagined how hard this would be. I only see my baby for a couple hours at night and 40 minutes in the morning. I LOVE my weekends and try not do anything but hang out with Evan. Along with going back to work comes exhaustion and absolutely no time for any sort of workout or dog walking or blog posting. I actually took a vacation day today because I couldn't take it anymore.

Evan had a hard time adjusting to the new routine and gave the sitter a hard time the first week. The first 2 days he was upset with me and wouldn't look at me or smile.....he is doing better now though. Tomorrow he will be 16 weeks! I'l' detail his growth and development in his 3 month post. Here are a few pics until then.

Moments

As my maternity leave comes to an end (only 2 weeks left...) I find myself getting teary eyed (and even full blown sobbing) at the thought of leaving my sweet baby boy for 8 or more hours a day. I never realized how hard this would be. We have spent everyday together learning about each other and me finding ways to entertain him. He's been my sidekick and I have enjoyed every minute of it. I knew this magical time would end but it just came so fast....

Everyday we do tummy time, play, sing, dance, read, nap and explore. Naps with my little dude are so relaxing. I sometimes just stare at him while he sleeps. He puts his little arm around me and snuggles in close. I'll miss our naps. I'll miss our play time. I'll miss our moments together that bring me such joy. I'll miss him.

I try and do an outing each day and we've been everywhere. I took Evan to Petsmart and showed him the birds and fish and he just stared and stared. I took him by the Hallmark window to show him the Halloween decorations. He really enjoys lights. I'll miss the moments where he is so intrigued by something that he just stares and makes little "o's" with his mouth.

I know we will spend time together on the weekends but I have just been so spoiled with getting to be with him all day every day. I went shopping for work clothes last weekend and John hung out with Evan. I felt so sad. I have separation anxiety I guess.....See I know Evan will be fine and well taken care of. I know he will have fun meeting new people and watching the other babies but....it's me who will have the problems. I don't want to miss anything and I feel like I'll be missing a huge chunk of Evan's baby stages and milestones.

This week we are doing a test run, pretending like I am going to work. So, waking up like I would (5am) and getting dressed and preparing Evan for the day. WOW, this is hard. I am also trying not to take any naps since I won't be taking naps at work. Needless to say, I am exhausted. This is going to be tough.

I will cherish the moments that Evan and I have shared during these few months. He is growing so fast. We have learned so much about each other and he has taught me things about myself as well. I am lucky to be his mama.