Saturday, August 27, 2011

Real Life

Can I be real with you? Thanks. That's what I love about this place.
I need to be me and accept me and my life and my abilities and limitations. For a while (like a year) I've been comparing myself and my life to other people's lives (bloggers and real life people like neighbors and friends, etc). Trying to do what they do, make what they make, live how they live and keep up with life.
I got really into making food (the special ingredient, time consuming type) and had visions of taking lovely pictures and posting them here to make you swoon. I have tons of dark pictures on my camera (I can only cook at night!) to prove it. I exhausted myself trying to keep up with the food blogs. Yes, I was inspired but it was exhausting and taking me away from my priorities.
I got really into taking pictures. I was inspired by all the wonderful photo blogs out there and was determined to learn to create amazing images to share with you. I have tons of untouched photos sitting on my computer to prove it. They will probably never be edited or shared.
I got really into Pinterest. I pinned all sorts of projects that I would eventually get to. Things I would eventually make.
I got really into home remodeling/decorating. Obsessing about paint colors, trying to paint a room after baby went to sleep and making long lists of projects that we would surely get to.
I got really into mommy blogs. Trying to emulate them. If they can do it all, why can't I? Making lists of organizational projects, ways to make my own cleaning products, thinking about homeschool.
I finally had to tell myself: "Get real."
My unrealistic view of my life and my time was causing me to feel inadequate and discouraged and well....jealous of those that could make it all work. My wide range of interests and inspirations were making me feel overwhelmed and only added to my stress load. Not a pleasant feeling. Heck, I can barely (if at all) keep up with regular day-to-day tasks.
I needed to get real. Take a good look at my life and assess my priorities and use of time.
The problem: In a way, I was trying to live like I lived pre-baby. Trying to fit ALL of my hobbies in alongside being a mom and wife and an employee. It's not working.
The solution: Get back to basics. Slowly add in one hobby, over time. Accept my life as it is today. Stop comparing my life to others. Make quick weeknight meals, get to bed at a decent hour and maybe MAYBE add a 20 minute session of reading or yoga. Stop stressing over laundry baskets of unfolded clothes.
The positive: When I am with my son, I am there, in the moment with him. It's us playing and laughing and that's it. I think that's a good foundation. Building off of this is a good start because this is the most important thing to me.
The truth is, I let this problem get me into a deep dark funk. Going to bed each night exhausted and thinking about all things I didn't do. Feeling defeated. Lost because I had no time to have a hobby for my outlet of stress. Upset because I can't do it all. This....on top of the constantly awful feelings I have about missing my child and not being able to keep up with normal life stuff. So, this is a start. This is a wake up call for me to get back to what's most important, to be smart and practical. This is a wake up call for me to change my way of thinking so I can take care of me so I can take care of my family.
This is me on my path to finding balance.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Official Announcement

Okay, I have to come clean with you. I've been on a blogging hiatus because....I'm pregnant!
It's true, baby #2 is on the way. We've known for a couple of weeks now and just recently had the confirmation appointment. Baby #2 will join us near the end of March 2012! John and I are very excited!
I've been ultra tired and was nauseous for a few weeks but I seem to be getting some energy back and haven't had much in the way of nausea this week. I'm just not that interested in food....which is really weird for me.
I was pretty concerned about my mid-section popping out I'm showing and I'm not that far along. The doctor informed me that a lot of women pop quickly with the 2nd child because their muscles have already been stretched out. Lovely. I'm already wearing maternity clothes. I've tried to fight it but it hurts and makes me feel uncomfortable to wear my normal clothes.
So there it is. The official announcement. We are having another baby. ANOTHER baby. Another BABY. I'm terrified, can you tell? I'm just nervous to be juggling two but I'm also excited for the experience.
I'm off to get catch some zzz's now!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm Alive

I am a terrible blogger! It's been almost a month since my last post. Unacceptable. I'm sorry.
Lots of things have been keeping me busy. Nothing tragic just your average life in the working-mommyhood. I just haven't carved out time to write.
Okay, I won't lie. I also got discouraged. Lost direction for this blog. Felt inadequate. I realize now that I write here because I want to make notes for myself and record memories. It doesn't have to be perfect. It has to be me. Someday I can come back and re-live my life through words and pictures. I don't scrapbook, so...this is my scrapbook. And...maybe along the way I can entertain a person or two or even help someone out through my experiences.
I have lots to share! Here are some things to look forward to: getting real, a first birthday party, a crazy/ adventurous toddler, some exciting news and changing my approach on life as a mama.

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